I still remember this particularly shocking example from the program, as well as Rori’s major focus on “healing” abusers and “transforming toxic relationships”, and it’s why I could no longer stomach the material. Being “strong” is not just leaving the room when a man disrespects you on that level it’s leaving the relationship. We can only wonder at the tragic effect this would leave on the young daughter, who would be condemned to watch her mother suffer such treatment. The victim is supposed to make this declaration of her feelings in a calm, soft, sweet tone of voice before removing herself from the abuser, to preserve her “soft/strong” status. A clear, and disturbing domestic-violence situation – and this is the response recommended by the so-called relationship expert. But only after softly and sweetly telling the abuser her feelings about being abused something like “When you scream at me that I’m a f***ing c**t in front of our four year old daughter, it feels bad.” Seriously, this specific example was given of a man screaming abusive obscenities at his wife when he came home from work. It’s just a gimmicky shorthand for her idea that women should behave very passively and constantly share their feelings with men (soft), and if anything happens that is abusive or inappropriate, the woman should leave his presence (strong). Is this a game you play forever? When the phrase is explained in the program, there really is no applicable “inside” or “outside” to it at all. 'Have The Relationship You Want' and 'Rori Raye. That’s why I’m so thrilled to be offering this Modern Siren program to you. What inside and outside are we talking about? Your internal organs? Do you have an inside and outside of your mind? And inside and outside to your psychology? Is it really referring to being two-faced with the guy? Are you supposed to appear to be one way for the man (soft and weak?), but secretly, “on the inside” be something else (strong)? And how long is that strategy supposed to last exactly? Not inside, not outside, not in the middle this verbal gimmick doesn’t even make sense. First of all, you don’t have to be “soft” anywhere.
I am familiar with the phrase, since her programs were part of the many dozens I researched and studied in my initial training years ago, and now in the fullness of time, and having since put together the principles of what I would call “a true Siren”, let me explain why I believe this idea to be complete nonsense. Recently, I’ve had several women ask me about the Rori’s “soft on the outside, strong on the inside” line that she often uses.
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